pick-me-up

I made a trip to Costco today it’s always a risky proposition because they don’t stock anti-depressants in the obscenely bulky amount that one would have to down all in one gulp in order to avoid the sinking feeling that sets in as soon as you set foot in there and I would have needed a second massive dose when I approached the register with two small items in hand all I had was a roll of parchment paper and a piece of cheese I felt so horribly inadequate almost as though I were doing something improper buying so little I did not feel like one of the Joneses at that moment and you know I like to keep up and it gets me down when I fall short I didn’t even have a goddamn cart let alone 40 lbs of breakfast cereal or the largest box of crackers in the history of distorted food production systems I told the cashier no thank you I did not need a box for my items I got out of there in one piece maybe two but in the freeforall parking lot was swamped with a sadness that bulk xanax could not combat even if they sold it and they should because it might be that the act of purchasing itself would do the trick if the fuckin pills didn’t do anything then I went home and worked on this composed salad I will keep working on it until it’s good and then present it to you ladies and gentlemen the post-Costco anti-depressant summer fruit and feta plank