talking egg

at breakfast an unjumbo egg is telling me something it has a message to get across it is letting me know that at a date certain it will become a bad egg a salmonella vehicle a pale yolk with a runny watery white that spreads out in the skillet and has no body left to it this egg where did it get these words that’s not egg it’s english those are someone else's words and that someone bless their unclogged heart is steering me clear of potential harm we need all the help we can get because who can tell good eggs from bad anymore in this food chain someone has to put words in the egg's mouth though I suspect the egg is perfectly capable of speaking for itself and would never say enjoy that is a factory talking not an egg I am not going to enjoy this egg according to a bland command I am going to eat it maybe on toast if there is any and with pleasure if there is any of that left when someone has told me to enjoy and given me a deadline to do so I am early to the expiration date party it is only September 6 in the morning and at this hour all messages seem vague I mean what year is this factory talking about what if I were supposed to enjoy the egg by September 15 2011 and I ate it now then I would be in for it then I might be facing a bout of something that could hardly be called enjoyable come on egg can you be a little more specific can you please clarify before I eat you if I could hear you over the din of this cautionary red label what year would it be what kind of world would you want to be living in what would you be trying to tell us in plain egg