frozen yogurt for Homs


the days wind down early we are saving daylight for some other time in some vaguely possible future that we hope will come to pass such as next summer though you never know if we will be able to hold out that long it is no mean feat to get through to tomorrow at this point the flesh is older and still willing but the spirit is deathly weak battered by unbearable contradictions or just simply things seeming on the one hand so fine and dandy there is a tiny pea in the world growing into a little girl her brain and limbs are joyfully exploding with new everything and there is her mom and me swell with joy too running and screaming around the house with her until bedtime and on the other hand so totally fucked up its ludicrous to think you can shut out all the shit going on and just do your thing you know just grow up in bliss and purity that is idiotic there is no way around it no escape route only a straight shot to the edge of the flat earth to the brink of irrational thinking also known as “the way we think now” i didnt use to think like this i used to be very together and rational and capable of sufficient repression to function day to day but now its all over and i am all over the map i am a picture of disregulation let me give you an example i drive on any number of streets and see billboards for among other things american apparel apparently they make clothes though it is hard to tell because the humans in the pictures are wearing very little they are almost across the board flexing forward at the hip and rearing their buttocks which is pleasant enough i suppose i have no bone to pick here or an argument for prudism to make and no i dont think hey this is exploitation or hey this is some dime grind capitalist porn show or hey i find this patently offensive yes it is all of these things but no my turn of thought is this that the company is misnamed it should be called take me from behind apparel or fuck me up the ass apparel that would be more direct and cutting edge well maybe it would take the unspoken libidinal fun out of the advertising equation and that would be bad for business at the very least it would be unsemiotic plus if i were patriotic i would say it would be kind of unamerican to replace american with fuck me up the ass that might be verging on pro china lingo and this stuff is not made in china like almost everything else this scanty apparel is a homegrown sweatshopped bill of goods so why rain on their parade should i not be pleased that an all american company is still able to excel at something as important and complex as getting people to imagine sexy quivering buttholes under leather tights despite shutdowns and cultural venality and unrestrained settlement building or whatever is going on for real in their world should i not celebrate the savvy with which a garment maker induces people to buy things not so fast how can i jump on that bandwagon when i am really not so sure it works it is not working on me i hardly ever buy clothes and these ads don't make me want to run out to get fitted with some tanktops or speedo briefs all they do is make me want to stroke it in the car on riverside drive which would only put me in the same menacing oblivious drivers seat as the millions of texting jerkoffs barreling down the road everywhere no i wont push things to that precipitous point i am not that far gone or close to the brink the conditions that deteriorate thought and deregulate behavior have not gotten that bad actually i am gripping the wheel and nothing else just trying to get to pinkberry i am out on a frozen yogurt errand well hold on now even that simple statement is quite possibly worse for its banality than an ass-filled billboard it is a sad measure of the life of the mind i am in i am not alone in it it is a group effort it takes a village to be able to be out on a frozen yogurt errand but when the counterperson wants to know how are we swirling i say i cant answer you i am swirling too fast i am dizzy with your bright lights and glistening surfaces and ginned-up food service candy shop good looks though somehow still cogent enough to understand if i am not pleased with the icy result i am taking to go they will swirl me a new one that is what the little sign says at the cash register “if you are not satisfied we will swirl you a new one” ok go ahead swirl me a new one i do not like this result because once i am home everything goes downhill despite the unutterable tastiness of the product how could things be good when there are no more behinds in my face and there is just this picture in my inbox from Cornish Street in the city of Homs November 6 2013 i hope the Syrian regime had the decency to spare the pinkberry that just opened up there right next to the take me from behind american apparel factory seconds outlet the glib thought on taking in this view is “apocpalypse now” but i dont believe like that at all i dont buy that there will be any such thing as the end of days or that if there is this is it all this is is “the way we live now” all this is is how are we swirling