kale salad snowden

above is the menu from June 24 at elysian a few diners found it amusing a few found it confusing and whipped out their food apps to find out about this ingredient they had never heard of before some were just wondering who or what snowden is do i really need to explain take a listen to any media outlet yesterday or like last week and it was non-stop snowden ok true no longer the lead what with the doma ruling which papered over the voting rights debacle and now egypt snowden is suddenly already merely the source of a trickle of hyperventilating coverage he had his moment he almost made it as the new kale ubiqitous on the tips of all tongues appearing here there and everywhere on every drop-down pop-up menu the broadcasters might as well have been saying “kale is believed to be in the Moscow airport” “ecuador has agreed to take in kale” “john kerry has asked russia to extradite kale" "kale is a traitor” “kale is a free-speech hero” “how much more does kale know?” ok the analogy wears thin after a point and snowden is not all that delicious anyway it turns out even if he is interesting enough to stay in the limelight for a brief flickering time the difference is that kale is not going away snowden is kale will pad menus from here to forever it will never come off it will follow suit with radicchio tiramisu bacon things that have become staples sacred cows every diner expects to be able to have kale in some form when and wherever they so desire even the molecular gastronauts are making kale into jelly beans and at the wood fired end of things they are throwing entire kale plants roots and all into the embers to offer slow roasted whole kale to the vegan cognoscenti snowden in the end will be very unkale-like he will be a deadended trend a hot flurry of tweets and then not a peep years from now people or at least a subset of them will be just about made of kale if the current salad craze keeps up at its present lunatic pace but snowden will be beyond recall snowden who is that people will ask and every now and then someone post-yoga might pause mid-crunchy kale strawberry super protein chop slaw and wonder whatever happened to that leaker fellow was he strung up by his tongue for his insolence was he locked away in a supermax for his betrayals did he live out his life in exile on some wikipedia-owned desert isle with julian asange kale on the other hand is going to go the distance it will exceed itself as mere food item it is after all becoming deeply woven into the fabric of our daily lives to the degree that it simply goes without mention but let me mention a few examples nonetheless in some homes lacinto kale has replaced charmin the rough texture does a great job plus it coats the rim with essential vegetal oils and the flavor profile is complex johnson and johnson is working on how to get it in and out of a dispenser an intrepid entrepreneur up north in the bay area i mean where else is making survivalist clothes out of kale fiber it is the new hemp they are called kustom kale kommando klothes* a hipster in williamsburg silverlake fixed her bike tire inner tube with kale she found lingering in her soul patch plus some local honey apples next smart phone will ship with a kale-based microchip people are printing money with kale it seems there is nothing kale cant do it can do no wrong it will never blow the whistle by the way it is extremely popular in the commissary at the NSA put that in your kale salad and smoke it

*best kale-related text ever is here